中文Women, Asian Women, Online Dating & Things Chinese and Asian
Born and raised in Maryland, USA, and attended the University of Maryland, but now living in Pennsylvania, RTByrum is an author and publisher of 9 books but does not make a living at it. His places traveled include Britain and China. His past marriage was to a Chinese woman for 3 years. He since claims to have found the secret to happiness and hopes to share that happiness with someone special, and through his blogs, perhaps also with you.
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Dating Chinese Women: My Ideal Match Part 1

By RWByrum


I was recently contacted by one of the members of ALM. After viewing her picture and reading over her profile, I immediately concluded that she was not the right person for me. I responded to the kiss she had sent me with one of my own. I used the kiss which stated that I did not wish to communicate with her because her profile did not match the profile of my ideal partner. She replied with a message in which she asked, "Then what kind of woman are you looking for?"



My attraction to East Asian women is not based on any perception of them being exotic. African and Middle Eastern women are also exotic, but I have never found them to be particularly attractive. It was also not based on any expectation of East Asian women being submissive. I never harbored such an expectation and I have never regarded submissiveness as a desirable trait in a woman. I did not even grow up in an area where Asian women were common. In fact, I was in high school before I had my first face to face encounter with an Asian girl. But even then encountering an Asian girl was a rare treat. Out of the 3,000 students attending my high school, only 2 or 3 were Asian girls.

然而,我对东亚女性倾向并不是最近才开发。我一直对东亚女性偏爱。这仅仅是直到大约十年前,我不相信,我将能够采取行动。我对东亚女性强烈的偏好从哪儿来的?我真的不知道。我怀疑这是电视的过程中我的发展时期的影响。我最喜欢的电视节目,而我的成长过程中,是M * A * S * H,一个情景喜剧集军队外科医院在朝鲜战争期间。在对空气中的十个一个季节,它可能是亚洲女星的主要雇主。M * A * S * H可能是对我的口味东亚妇女或我对东亚女性味道的最终来源可能是为M * A * S * H是我最喜欢的节目之一的原因。现在,它是为时已晚了我的事业从效果分开。


Why do I confine my ideal match to Chinese, Japanese and Korean women? Because I find the women from those countries more consistently attractive than the women of other East Asian nations. While I find most Chinese, Japanese and Korean women to be attractive, I only find some Vietnamese women attractive and I only find a very small percent of Thai women attractive. I haven't encountered enough Indonesian women to form an opinion of them yet. I haven't yet seen a Malay woman I found attractive and the only Philippinas I have found attractive were either ethnically Chinese or at least partially Chinese.

I imagine that the reason why I find women from some East Asian nationalities more attractive than others has to do with the facial characteristics common to the members of those nationalities. At least, that seems to be the most plausible explanation for why I find Chinese women much more attractive than Malay or Thai women. The only certainty I really have is that skin tone has nothing to do with it.

I have always treated my preference for Chinese women as nothing more than a personal preference. I regard preferring Chinese women to other women as equivalent to preferring vanilla ice cream over chocolate or strawberry. I strongly prefer vanilla ice cream but I am willing to settle for chocolate ice cream if vanilla is not available while I cannot tolerate strawberry ice cream at all. If strawberry is the only option, I would much rather do without. In a similar vein, I much prefer to date Chinese, Japanese or Korean women. I would date women of other East Asian nationalities if I could not find any Chinese, Japanese or Koreans, but I would not date a woman who was not East Asian at all.

From the foregoing, it should be obvious that I regard a woman's face as her most important feature. Whenever I find myself attracted to a woman it was her face that induced those feelings. This is not to say that I don't regard a woman's other features: her breasts, legs or butt are unimportant to me, just that they are far less important to me than her face. I can be attracted to a woman with a beautiful face but an inferior body but I will not be attracted to a woman with a fantastic body but an inferior face.

I am not really sure, but I do have the overall impression that I am different from other men in this regard. I have never explicitly discussed the issue with anyone but every time that I have ever overheard a man discussing a woman, I have never heard him comment on her face. His comments were always focused on her breasts, her butt or her legs, in that order. However, vague impressions are often wrong as they are more often than not subject to observational bias.

My ideal match would have black hair and black or brown eyes. The vast majority of East Asian women have black hair and I have yet to encounter an Asian woman whose eyes were not either black or brown. I believe I made those selections on my ideal match profile to make my ideal match the quintessential East Asian woman.

Height really isn't important to me at all. My ideal match profile lists acceptable heights from 4'11 to 6'4''. I seriously don't expect to ever meet an East Asian woman who does not fall within that range but if I did, I certainly wouldn't hold it against her. Despite the fact that I don't consider a woman's height to be important, I still want to know what it is. I'm not really sure why. I don't honestly care if a woman is taller than me but it does appear to bother at least some women. I have seen profiles where the women who wrote them said that she would not date any man who was not at least two inches taller than her. One of those women stood 5'11'' so I believe her selection of potential mates was quite limited.

Weight is a complex issue and it is completely meaningless outside of height. Among the big three, the Koreans have the greatest propensity towards obesity. I have, in fact, personally met obese Korean women. I've only ever seen one obese Japanese woman and I have never seen an obese Chinese woman. Whenever I consider a woman's weight I always relate it to her height. Obviously, a woman who stands 5'6" should weigh more than a woman who stands 5'0". Thus, 135 pounds would not be inordinately heavy for a woman standing 5'6" but it would be a bit high for a woman who stands only 5'0".


When I selected body types for my ideal match, I chose every category but "large-ish". That category just sounded a little too much to me like a politically correct version of obese. Naturally, body type is an important consideration when interpreting the meaning of a woman's height and weight. An athletic woman could well be heavier because she is muscular rather than because she is fat. A case in point would be Rin Nakai, a female Japanese professional mixed martial arts fighter. She stands 5'1" but her fighting weight was 135 pounds. She wasn't fat at all. It was just that her upper arms, shoulders, and thighs were huge for her height. Rin Nakai ended up having to lose weight because she started to lose fights to taller women. An eight-inch height differential just proved too much for her to overcome.


Copyright owned jointly by Author and CyberCupid Co., Ltd. Breach of copyright will be prosecuted.
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#2017-12-10 14:17:03 byJohnAbbot @JohnAbbot


Regarding this blog, you've provided such detail that I am unsure where to start. So I am just going to focus somewhat randomly on a couple of things that popped out at me.

1. You mention that the primary feature for you to be attracted to a woman is her face. You also suspect that your are in the minority on that point, and that most men probably focus on body over face.

对于面临的主要景点,就是你aware that most Chinese will tell you that Western men tend to be attracted to Chinese women that Chinese men are unlikely to be attracted to. My wife insists that most Western men she knows (and that includes members of CLM) who end up married to Chinese women, seem to have chosen women that to her and other Chinese are not pretty. Many other Chinese I know have agreed with her.


Generally, but not always, I find that the many Chinese men I came to know in China, and that was a lot of them because I owned a bar in Shenzhen, generally were dating or married to Chinese women that I did not find as attractive generally as the Chinese women that Western men were dating or married to. This would suggest that My wife and the others are right that we Western men are not attracted to the same faces as Chinese men are attracted to.

Do you (or anyone reading this) have any thoughts on that?





If so, how big a life changer was that for you?

这就是我到目前为止,布鲁里溃疡t I am looking forward to Part 2.

#2017-12-11 05:44:55 bymelcyan @melcyan



#二○一七年十二月一十一日11时05分42秒通过RWByrum @RWByrum

@JohnAbbot Hi John!

I seem to trigger all of the bugs!

I began meeting Chinese women when I was a student at the University of Maryland. There were a lot of Chinese women there and I even managed to date a few. Unfortunately, once I left the University, I no longer had much opportunity to meet Asian women. At least not ones from Asia. As I don't frequent bars or nightclubs, my opportunities for dating are rather limited and I usually find myself far too inhiibited to approach most women. When you meet a woman face to face you know absolutely nothing about her besides her appearance. You don't know if she is even available. What I like about online dating is that most of these questions are answered for you. So for me, online dating provides me not only with the opportunity to meet Chinese women, but also the chance to meet available Chinese women interested in a relationship with a western man. Most of the Chinese women I met at the University of Maryland were not interested in such a relationship, not even the ones I dated.

Internet dating was a huge change for me. I met my ex-wife through an online dating site. Now that experience showed me the possibilities without diminishing my enthusiasm.


I would not be the least bit surprised to learn that Chinese men have different tastes in women from Western men. But given how quickly China is being Westernized, I wonder how much longer that will remain to be true. Personally, if I find attractive a woman that other men do not find attractive then I see that as an immense advantage. I would honestly prefer it that way. Also, how I feel about a woman is based solely on my own emotional reactions and not on how anybody else feels.

#2017年12月11日12时55分04秒通过RWByrum @RWByrum

@melcyanThank you, Melcyan. This may have to do with the fact that I actually have a lot more experience with Chinese women than with Western woman. But I also don't see why praising one requires denigrating the other.

#2017-12-14 08:35:15 by anonymous16724@ anonymous16724

Interesting breakdown of your preferences. I personally feel that Filipino women are the most beautiful when younger(20-30) then it seems life catches up to them and their looks fade, not all but most. Chinese women seem to be like most western men, they get better looking with age. It is also interesting that alot of Chinese women find western men to be extremely handsome yet in the west we may be the bottom dwellers in facial looks.



Everywhere you look on the streets of China they are brimming with extremely attractive women, far more so than in the west. They are graceful, catlike and childish all at the same time. They just gots to stop hawking up flem balls and hawking the loogers on to the sidewalks with unbelievable skill!!! Utter turnoff!!!


#二○一七年十二月一十四日21点十八分51秒通过RWByrum @RWByrum

@ anonymous16724I was in China for only a week and I noticed the propensity for the Chinese to spit on the sidewalk. I have heard from my ex-wife that removal of the epicanthic folds was popular with Chinese women. I think that is truly a shame. My ex-wife has also expressed dissatisfaction with her epicanthic folds at times. I think she would have them removed if she could afford it.


#2017-12-14 22:32:02 bywoaizhongguo @woaizhongguo

A refreshing counterpart to much of the disparaging reference to "Yellow Fever" that has been discussed elsewhere on the site. As Woody Allen said, "the heart wants what it wants." Those who would criticize (and they are out there) a Western man's attraction to Chinese women should keep in mind that it was the same sort of contempt that led to millenium old discrimination against same sex relationships. I would only add that I think it is probably the face that first attracts most men, though of course I can only speak for myself.


#二○一七年十二月一十五日22时52分02秒通过RWByrum @RWByrum


#2017年12月16日10时01分03秒通过Kevr @Kevr



@RWByrum and co: a thought and a question. I am involved with a chinese woman at present, I have been there several times for months at a time. Yes Chinese women spit, burp and fart in public as it is no big deal manners wise in China for women to do this. Kids pee in the streets, sidewalks etc, Chinese men will whip it out just about anywhere if they need to go badly enough, no thought is given by anyone passing by, all accepted cultural behaviours that we men from the west frown on and are actually embarressed by these behaviours. Can you imagine the fall out from all the PC brigade, the neo feminists etc etc if that were to happen on a extremely regular basis?

One thing that most western men do not realize is you get used to it and let it go but it will always bother you.


If any western woman did this to a man in the west these days they would most likely get charged with assault and dumped....


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