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Born and raised in Maryland, USA, and attended the University of Maryland, but now living in Pennsylvania, RTByrum is an author and publisher of 9 books but does not make a living at it. His places traveled include Britain and China. His past marriage was to a Chinese woman for 3 years. He since claims to have found the secret to happiness and hopes to share that happiness with someone special, and through his blogs, perhaps also with you.
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Dating Chinese Women: My Ideal Match Part 1

By RWByrum
2251次阅读|19个评论|2017年12月11日上午05时02分10秒

我的第二个博客条目的主题是,正如标题所暗示的,我的理188bet官方网址想匹配,所以我选择了他们,为什么中国女性的标准。虽然这必将为CLM的成员与一个伟大的交易洞察自己,我不能完全肯定这些见解将是典型的美国人是多么普遍金宝博官网适用的,因为我从来没有认为自己是在任何方面的典型。我只是傲慢足够相信这个问题会很有趣,至少我的一些读者。

I was recently contacted by one of the members of ALM. After viewing her picture and reading over her profile, I immediately concluded that she was not the right person for me. I responded to the kiss she had sent me with one of my own. I used the kiss which stated that I did not wish to communicate with her because her profile did not match the profile of my ideal partner. She replied with a message in which she asked, "Then what kind of woman are you looking for?"

这是一个完全有效的问题,特别是考虑到我的理想匹配条件并没有出现在ALM网站上。这必须在系统中造成的错误,因为我的印象是,我CLM理想的匹配标准将结转到我的ALM的个人资料。金宝博官网即使我的ALM我的空间页面的现状部分显示我的理想合作伙伴完成。我简要地考虑修正这一缺陷,但我意识到,如果我这样做了ALM的女士们可能会感到生气。绝大多数ALM的女性成员是Philippinas和泰国既不菲律宾也不泰国会出现在我的理想匹配的国籍类别。我通过使我的个人资料不可见,并拒绝回答这个问题回答了该消息。是适当的反应?我是不是应该直率的告诉女人,我只是没有发现她有吸引力?我也许应该简单地回答了她的问题。

我的理想比赛将是东亚的女人,最好是一个谁是三大东亚种族之一的成员:中国,日本或韩国。我认为东亚的女性是最美丽的女人在世界上的三大是最美丽的东亚裔妇女。其中三巨头,我觉得中国女人是最有吸引力的。因此,在我的脑海里,他们站在很尖的阴柔之美。

My attraction to East Asian women is not based on any perception of them being exotic. African and Middle Eastern women are also exotic, but I have never found them to be particularly attractive. It was also not based on any expectation of East Asian women being submissive. I never harbored such an expectation and I have never regarded submissiveness as a desirable trait in a woman. I did not even grow up in an area where Asian women were common. In fact, I was in high school before I had my first face to face encounter with an Asian girl. But even then encountering an Asian girl was a rare treat. Out of the 3,000 students attending my high school, only 2 or 3 were Asian girls.

然而,我对东亚女性倾向并不是最近才开发。我一直对东亚女性偏爱。这仅仅是直到大约十年前,我不相信,我将能够采取行动。我对东亚女性强烈的偏好从哪儿来的?我真的不知道。我怀疑这是电视的过程中我的发展时期的影响。我最喜欢的电视节目,而我的成长过程中,是M * A * S * H,一个情景喜剧集军队外科医院在朝鲜战争期间。在对空气中的十个一个季节,它可能是亚洲女星的主要雇主。M * A * S * H可能是对我的口味东亚妇女或我对东亚女性味道的最终来源可能是为M * A * S * H是我最喜欢的节目之一的原因。现在,它是为时已晚了我的事业从效果分开。

那么,为什么我觉得在一般和中国,日本和韩国的女性尤其东亚的女性是最美丽的女人在世界上?我怀疑它与面部特征做主要是:眼睛的形状,鼻子的形状,嘴唇的尺寸,颧骨的形状和下巴的形状。但东亚的面部特征,我最爱的是epicanthic倍。更显着一个女人的epicanthic褶皱,更吸引我找到她。

Why do I confine my ideal match to Chinese, Japanese and Korean women? Because I find the women from those countries more consistently attractive than the women of other East Asian nations. While I find most Chinese, Japanese and Korean women to be attractive, I only find some Vietnamese women attractive and I only find a very small percent of Thai women attractive. I haven't encountered enough Indonesian women to form an opinion of them yet. I haven't yet seen a Malay woman I found attractive and the only Philippinas I have found attractive were either ethnically Chinese or at least partially Chinese.

I imagine that the reason why I find women from some East Asian nationalities more attractive than others has to do with the facial characteristics common to the members of those nationalities. At least, that seems to be the most plausible explanation for why I find Chinese women much more attractive than Malay or Thai women. The only certainty I really have is that skin tone has nothing to do with it.

I have always treated my preference for Chinese women as nothing more than a personal preference. I regard preferring Chinese women to other women as equivalent to preferring vanilla ice cream over chocolate or strawberry. I strongly prefer vanilla ice cream but I am willing to settle for chocolate ice cream if vanilla is not available while I cannot tolerate strawberry ice cream at all. If strawberry is the only option, I would much rather do without. In a similar vein, I much prefer to date Chinese, Japanese or Korean women. I would date women of other East Asian nationalities if I could not find any Chinese, Japanese or Koreans, but I would not date a woman who was not East Asian at all.

From the foregoing, it should be obvious that I regard a woman's face as her most important feature. Whenever I find myself attracted to a woman it was her face that induced those feelings. This is not to say that I don't regard a woman's other features: her breasts, legs or butt are unimportant to me, just that they are far less important to me than her face. I can be attracted to a woman with a beautiful face but an inferior body but I will not be attracted to a woman with a fantastic body but an inferior face.

I am not really sure, but I do have the overall impression that I am different from other men in this regard. I have never explicitly discussed the issue with anyone but every time that I have ever overheard a man discussing a woman, I have never heard him comment on her face. His comments were always focused on her breasts, her butt or her legs, in that order. However, vague impressions are often wrong as they are more often than not subject to observational bias.

My ideal match would have black hair and black or brown eyes. The vast majority of East Asian women have black hair and I have yet to encounter an Asian woman whose eyes were not either black or brown. I believe I made those selections on my ideal match profile to make my ideal match the quintessential East Asian woman.

Height really isn't important to me at all. My ideal match profile lists acceptable heights from 4'11 to 6'4''. I seriously don't expect to ever meet an East Asian woman who does not fall within that range but if I did, I certainly wouldn't hold it against her. Despite the fact that I don't consider a woman's height to be important, I still want to know what it is. I'm not really sure why. I don't honestly care if a woman is taller than me but it does appear to bother at least some women. I have seen profiles where the women who wrote them said that she would not date any man who was not at least two inches taller than her. One of those women stood 5'11'' so I believe her selection of potential mates was quite limited.

Weight is a complex issue and it is completely meaningless outside of height. Among the big three, the Koreans have the greatest propensity towards obesity. I have, in fact, personally met obese Korean women. I've only ever seen one obese Japanese woman and I have never seen an obese Chinese woman. Whenever I consider a woman's weight I always relate it to her height. Obviously, a woman who stands 5'6" should weigh more than a woman who stands 5'0". Thus, 135 pounds would not be inordinately heavy for a woman standing 5'6" but it would be a bit high for a woman who stands only 5'0".

我其实挺自由的,当谈到体重。对于我的理想匹配,我给了重量范围为90磅到146磅。我认为低于90磅是不健康的成人,除非她异乎寻常地短。作为一般的经验法则,我希望我的理想匹配权衡比我少。我的体重波动磅140和150之间。话虽如此,我不会拒绝的女性约会,只是因为她胜过我。188bet官网在很大程度上将取决于她的身高和由她的体重比我的量。如果一个女人是超重,但我不会约会马戏团胖女人,我不介意。188bet官网

When I selected body types for my ideal match, I chose every category but "large-ish". That category just sounded a little too much to me like a politically correct version of obese. Naturally, body type is an important consideration when interpreting the meaning of a woman's height and weight. An athletic woman could well be heavier because she is muscular rather than because she is fat. A case in point would be Rin Nakai, a female Japanese professional mixed martial arts fighter. She stands 5'1" but her fighting weight was 135 pounds. She wasn't fat at all. It was just that her upper arms, shoulders, and thighs were huge for her height. Rin Nakai ended up having to lose weight because she started to lose fights to taller women. An eight-inch height differential just proved too much for her to overcome.

未完待续…

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#2017-12-10 14:17:03 byJohnAbbot @JohnAbbot

罗杰,我很惊讶,你的理想伴侣没有正确传送到您的ALM的空间,我也问过我们的Web开发人员寻找到它。



Regarding this blog, you've provided such detail that I am unsure where to start. So I am just going to focus somewhat randomly on a couple of things that popped out at me.



1. You mention that the primary feature for you to be attracted to a woman is her face. You also suspect that your are in the minority on that point, and that most men probably focus on body over face.



对于面临的主要景点,就是你aware that most Chinese will tell you that Western men tend to be attracted to Chinese women that Chinese men are unlikely to be attracted to. My wife insists that most Western men she knows (and that includes members of CLM) who end up married to Chinese women, seem to have chosen women that to her and other Chinese are not pretty. Many other Chinese I know have agreed with her.



假设她和谁同意她的人是正确的,这可能部分是由你的论点,即这些人,往往不是,不关心面对如此多的身体来解释。但说实话,在我的西方人眼里,女人是西方男人最终结婚或与通常是非常漂亮的生活,我认为他们是很容易在排名前30%或中国女人我认识的提高,这包括成千上万CLM的成员。金宝博官网



Generally, but not always, I find that the many Chinese men I came to know in China, and that was a lot of them because I owned a bar in Shenzhen, generally were dating or married to Chinese women that I did not find as attractive generally as the Chinese women that Western men were dating or married to. This would suggest that My wife and the others are right that we Western men are not attracted to the same faces as Chinese men are attracted to.



Do you (or anyone reading this) have any thoughts on that?



除了一个事实,如果属实这显然真的打开门西方男人找到自己的梦想的中国女人,因为那些相同的妇女是竞争对于大多数中国人的出更广泛的,不以任何你可能看这种变化中国女性?



(不,我从来没有指出我的妻子,她似乎结块自己变成中国女人谁不是中国男人有吸引力的类别,我的经验是,中国男人都相当吸引她。)



2.我也被吸引到亚洲女性对未知(我)从一个年轻的年龄原因,并在我的小城镇,加拿大阿尔伯塔省,从小就在那个时候满足任何约会的机会几乎是不存在的。几乎是唯一的女孩我就满足了都是中国餐馆老板让我在中国女孩比其他亚洲人特别感兴趣的女儿,但他们的父母抚养他们什么都没有做与西部的孩子们。我没有给真的能有机会满足任何中国女性思想浪漫,直到我在1990年的第二次离婚后,当时中国和亚洲交友中心应运而生通过互联网。这就像世界开放对我来说,我以为我已经死了上了天堂。



我不认为我看到您的帖子任何指示你怎么会是在启动会议亚洲和中国女性的位置,但它和我一样,通过在互联网上新推出的约会的可能性?



If so, how big a life changer was that for you?



这就是我到目前为止,布鲁里溃疡t I am looking forward to Part 2.




#2017-12-11 05:44:55 bymelcyan @melcyan

我已经被男人说他们为什么喜欢中国女性阅读CLM许多意见。金宝博官网我知道我的记忆是有点可疑,但我觉得这是我曾经读到不包含有关西方女性任何诽谤性言论的第一个。恭喜!

希望其他人可以跟随你的领导,并写在他们非常个人的选择一个理想的女人,而不对西方妇女的负面评论更多的细节。

#二○一七年十二月一十一日11时05分42秒通过RWByrum @RWByrum


@JohnAbbot Hi John!

I seem to trigger all of the bugs!

I began meeting Chinese women when I was a student at the University of Maryland. There were a lot of Chinese women there and I even managed to date a few. Unfortunately, once I left the University, I no longer had much opportunity to meet Asian women. At least not ones from Asia. As I don't frequent bars or nightclubs, my opportunities for dating are rather limited and I usually find myself far too inhiibited to approach most women. When you meet a woman face to face you know absolutely nothing about her besides her appearance. You don't know if she is even available. What I like about online dating is that most of these questions are answered for you. So for me, online dating provides me not only with the opportunity to meet Chinese women, but also the chance to meet available Chinese women interested in a relationship with a western man. Most of the Chinese women I met at the University of Maryland were not interested in such a relationship, not even the ones I dated.

Internet dating was a huge change for me. I met my ex-wife through an online dating site. Now that experience showed me the possibilities without diminishing my enthusiasm.

我可以想象,如果你没有面对你的妻子看似矛盾,她会说,她是个例外。这也将意味着你有一个西方人格外好味道。

I would not be the least bit surprised to learn that Chinese men have different tastes in women from Western men. But given how quickly China is being Westernized, I wonder how much longer that will remain to be true. Personally, if I find attractive a woman that other men do not find attractive then I see that as an immense advantage. I would honestly prefer it that way. Also, how I feel about a woman is based solely on my own emotional reactions and not on how anybody else feels.

#2017年12月11日12时55分04秒通过RWByrum @RWByrum


@melcyanThank you, Melcyan. This may have to do with the fact that I actually have a lot more experience with Chinese women than with Western woman. But I also don't see why praising one requires denigrating the other.

#2017-12-14 08:35:15 by anonymous16724@ anonymous16724

Interesting breakdown of your preferences. I personally feel that Filipino women are the most beautiful when younger(20-30) then it seems life catches up to them and their looks fade, not all but most. Chinese women seem to be like most western men, they get better looking with age. It is also interesting that alot of Chinese women find western men to be extremely handsome yet in the west we may be the bottom dwellers in facial looks.

当你提到你被吸引到中国女性的眼皮上折我倾向于同意,这是很诱人的。你也知道,这是一个整形外科precedure中国女性已经做了多少?我也能理解,想到的屁股是不是最重要的,你选择的女人是一件好事,因为大多数中国女性拥有更平坦的烟头,并没有在该类别的吸引力,但他们肯定知道如何把他们的臀部时行走!

我的中国女人认为自己只是在面部部门我倾向于同意平均,她是可爱/漂亮,但远离美丽的按中国的标准。她也变得很生气,当我告诉她我发现大多数中国男人都不是好找,似乎中国的动向是更加effiminate看起来明智的中国人谁是好看。

Everywhere you look on the streets of China they are brimming with extremely attractive women, far more so than in the west. They are graceful, catlike and childish all at the same time. They just gots to stop hawking up flem balls and hawking the loogers on to the sidewalks with unbelievable skill!!! Utter turnoff!!!

好运气在这里搜索!

#二○一七年十二月一十四日21点十八分51秒通过RWByrum @RWByrum


@ anonymous16724I was in China for only a week and I noticed the propensity for the Chinese to spit on the sidewalk. I have heard from my ex-wife that removal of the epicanthic folds was popular with Chinese women. I think that is truly a shame. My ex-wife has also expressed dissatisfaction with her epicanthic folds at times. I think she would have them removed if she could afford it.

感谢您的意见。我不得不承认,我不认为我成功的几率是特别好,但我确实认为CLM确实给我的最好机会。金宝博官网

#2017-12-14 22:32:02 bywoaizhongguo @woaizhongguo

A refreshing counterpart to much of the disparaging reference to "Yellow Fever" that has been discussed elsewhere on the site. As Woody Allen said, "the heart wants what it wants." Those who would criticize (and they are out there) a Western man's attraction to Chinese women should keep in mind that it was the same sort of contempt that led to millenium old discrimination against same sex relationships. I would only add that I think it is probably the face that first attracts most men, though of course I can only speak for myself.

@JohnAbbot:关于西方男人Defintely真正beting吸引中国女性不觉得特别有吸引力。称它为刘玉玲综合征。

#二○一七年十二月一十五日22时52分02秒通过RWByrum @RWByrum


@woaizhongguo啊,另一次投票的脸!我不知道是否有人做过关于这个问题的调查。在美国,直到1948年它是非法的,一名白人男子娶一个中国女人和弗吉尼亚它仍然是非法的,直至最高法院宣布miscegination法律在1967年还有违宪的,我从来没有发现刘玉玲特别有吸引力。不过话说回来,这可能就是我。我的口味都有点,怪。

#2017年12月16日10时01分03秒通过Kevr @Kevr

我也是吸引到同组的亚洲女性作为自己的。这不是基于任何垃圾定型的长期吸引力。事实上,如果有人提出这样的事我会生气的。现在,我有这个地方,以满足他们,我真的希望有一个中国女人作为我为我的余生伙伴..

#2017年12月16日二十三时46分58秒通过anonymous16731@anonymous16731

@RWByrum and co: a thought and a question. I am involved with a chinese woman at present, I have been there several times for months at a time. Yes Chinese women spit, burp and fart in public as it is no big deal manners wise in China for women to do this. Kids pee in the streets, sidewalks etc, Chinese men will whip it out just about anywhere if they need to go badly enough, no thought is given by anyone passing by, all accepted cultural behaviours that we men from the west frown on and are actually embarressed by these behaviours. Can you imagine the fall out from all the PC brigade, the neo feminists etc etc if that were to happen on a extremely regular basis?

One thing that most western men do not realize is you get used to it and let it go but it will always bother you.

这里是我的问题:由于中国女性爱用捏你,咬你,掌掴你,推搡你,硬是拉着你把你的脚来引导你他们想要去的方向,以显示他们对你的爱和关怀,他们会还叫你达姆达姆,一个小宝宝谁不能照顾自己,你怎么觉得这是在西方不赞成这些行动?

If any western woman did this to a man in the west these days they would most likely get charged with assault and dumped....

Thoughts???

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